The No Yelling Movement

sad mum

A Pledge from a Mum.

(This article was submitted on the condition the writer remain anonymous) so it begins…… I’m a yeller.   No actually I am an insane ranter, yeller, screamer, sometimes swearer and all round nut job of a mother when I get frustrated and angry.   Most of the day I’m sane.   And then that little thing tips me over the edge. I don’t feel a welling up of anger. I don’t feel the “Oh I’m getting mad”.   No, I just explode.   Seriously I wonder if sparks fly out my eyes and the top of my head pops off with the force of my rage.   Sometimes I turn into full toddler mode and stamp my feet and wave my arms in the air with my tightly clenched fists. I now totally understand the inspiration for the Hulk. I have slammed my hand down so hard on our kitchen table it hurt for a full day afterwards.   I once kicked the couch and broke my little toe.

I’m not much of a smacker.   I worry when I am in such a filthy rage that a smack won’t be a smack.   So in those times I yell “Get to your room now or else!!!”     My kids disappear.  Usually. I have a newly turned 7yr old who is “the man” in the house and sometimes he stands his ground and flies into a similar rage back. We stand there have a full on yelling match until he realises my voice is just that octave louder and he gives up and sulks away.

Mostly when the rage subsides I duck into their room to talk calmly about the situation that just made me explode. And there I find a crumpled small person, with hardly a breath of life experience, few known rights and wrongs and this person is there crying or worse – retreating into themselves.

Why do I do this? Surely as a grown adult with 33yrs life experience I KNOW better.   And well; yes I do!   This is my fault.   Most of the time I lose my cool because of ME!!! Not them.   In all honesty it is me.   I talked too long on the phone, I spent too much time on Facebook, I procrastinated too much.   My time management skills are appalling.   I’m lacking in organisation skills.   I also have NO patience.

Life can be overwhelming.

Yes I explode when I’ve asked my children to tidy up or get dressed or head to the bath or come to the table.   But really mostly it is my fault.   I’m distracted.   They are all younger than 7yrs old!!!   Why am I not gently guiding them through this?   Why do I not take the time to help my 6yr old put on his school shirt that I know he struggles with?   If the TV is on it surely is my adult responsibility to turn it off and direct; not yell, at them to go bath, get to the table, brush their teeth etc.   Why on Earth do I expect small humans to be present in my world when there is so much happening in their little imaginary worlds? They have so much going on and so much they are learning and yet I’m there yelling at them when they were busy chasing dragons or dancing with fairies that I can no longer see.   For I have lost all this magic.   I’m bogged down in this silly adult world of expectations and time frames.   I really do need to take a leaf out of their book.

So today I signed a binding agreement with the three most perfect beings in the world to me.   I swear I will give it a better go. A fresh start.   I’m going to be a reformed yeller.   Like giving up a safety blanket this isn’t going to be easy I have explained to them. But their excited faces, their joyful smiles tell me it’s time. This is where it begins.   Yes I can do this.   They deserve this.   And to be honest so do I .   Goodbye mummy gilt on one, but the biggest one of all.   Bye bye yelling mummy…..

If you would like to take this challenge and change your yelling ways but feel you would benefit from a support network please visit and like Dirt and Boogers: Stop Yelling Challenge

Head here to be added to the group if you wish to join the challenge– http://www.dirtandboogers.com/stop-yelling-challenge/

 

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