What To Do When Your Child Hates Mummy
Yes it’s true. Right now there is a little human in their room who is screaming they hate me. ME, the person who made it possible for them to be here, the person who loves them most in the world, the one who would die for them. I have said a big NO to Playstation. I know right?
What are they even doing playing playstation? That must be my first parenting mistake? Let me tell you, as far as I can see there is no right or wrong in this game- just a bit of “wait and see” and “give it a go and see what happens“, read a book and believe it type stuff.
The truth? We have a playstation. I know.. I hear gasps… We also live on acreage and my kids are generally covered in some delicious immune boosting muck- we also have running water and a TV, chickens, a dog and lots of lego. Pretty normal really.
MOVING ON and back to “I HATE YOU MUMMY”
So what do you do now.. here are my tips.
- Dont panic. Easier said than done I know.
- Understand they don’t actually know what the word hate means but they have probably realised the word is pretty awful and right now- awful is good.
- Don’t react. AT ALL. Don’t under react. Just breathe.
- Get down to their level and say. “Tom, I understand you are frustrated, I understand you want to do what you want to do but Mummy says ‘No’ because dinner is soon and I want us all to sit at the table and play some snap” – who doesnt love snap?? (Tom doesnt apparently- it “sux”)
- Give them a hug (This is more for you than them. They will hate it, it will make you feel better)
- Tell them they are going to have a little time aside from everyone else to think about their reaction (in my case the HATE word and the screaming like a banshee)
- Tell them you LOVE them and shut their bedroom door
- Head outside, take a deep breathe, BELIEVE in your parenting
- Play snap with the other kids, loudly and with more enthusiasm than you ever have in your life.
- Go back into their room afterwards and get back down to their level and ask them if they think they can understand why they might have liked to play snap because of how fun it sounded. (DONT mention the word playstation- they don’t need to be reminded). Ask them to say sorry for saying they hate you. That it hurt your heart because you know that you both love each other and HUG.
- Then invite them to play snap again.
- BELIEVE in this moment. It’s like when you don’t give them chocolate at a shopping centre, it sux at the time but the rewards come later. We hope 🙂
Now I didnt mention eating chocolate or drinking wine because Brisbane Kids as website does not want to encourage a culture of indulgence or suggest that sugar and alcohol are an answer BUT if you feel this would help in small quantities I am sure that as an adult this would only assist in your attempt to turn a bad situation into a good one. (Obviously assuming its after the key 5pm for wine) — (anytime for chocolate)
Parenting is not easy. Anyone who says it is got an easy child. Good for them.
Written by Owner/Editor Ngaire Stirling. Mum of 3. Ruler of none.